Mencken and Nathan's Second Law of The Average American:
	All the postmasters in small towns read all the postcards.

Mencken and Nathan's Ninth Law of The Average American:
	The quality of a champagne is judged by the
	amount of noise the cork makes when it is popped.

Mencken and Nathan's Fifteenth Law of The Average American:
	The worst actress in the company is always the manager's wife.

Mencken and Nathan's Sixteenth Law of The Average American:
	Milking a cow is an operation demanding a special talent that
	is possessed only by yokels, and no person born in a large city
	can ever hope to acquire it.