Maiden, n:
	A young person of the unfair sex addicted to clewless conduct and
	views that madden to crime.  The genus has a wide geographical
	distribution, being found wherever sought and deplored wherever found.
	The maiden is not altogether unpleasing to the eye, nor (without her
	piano and her views) insupportable to the ear, though in respect to
	comeliness distinctly inferior to the rainbow, and, with regard to
	the part of her that is audible, beaten out of the field by the
	canary -- which, also, is more portable.

Male, n:
	A member of the unconsidered, or negligible sex.  The male of the
	human race is commonly known to the female as Mere Man.  The genus
	has two varieties:  good providers and bad providers.
		-- Ambrose Bierce